It could be the weather, perhaps the season in general, or it could just be life getting in the way but my creative juices, both desire and inspiration, are rather dry. Even getting a few scattered words out is a challenge. I’m feeling very blocked. While I am busy with other things, work and family which take up the majority of my time, there are hours in my week that could be set aside to create or at the very least write. Writing usually helps things along.
The more I think about it the less weather is a factor. Yes it is true that our patio is my favorite studio but the kitchen and living room have worked as well. In the summer months the evening light helps keep me motivate whereas these dark winter evenings feel more like down time, time to curl up on the sofa with the cat and try to forget about life. But no, that’s not the block.
I find writing the personal more time consuming, it is draining and too revealing at times when I’m in the midst of it. After the fact it gets easier but I need to be a place where I have reconciled with new situations. I don’t think I’m in that place yet. Creating work is much the same for me. Once I start working things surface and if I’m not ready to see I avoid starting.
Yes, that sounds accurate, more like me. Just avoid dealing with it. It being my aging father. Well, that sounds horrible. Let me clarify, I am in no way avoiding him, I am however avoiding the reality of his aging – what he can do for himself, his mental and physical limitations. This was hinted at in a previous post, I won’t go into all the details other than my weekends are all spent in Mission as we complete renovations to his house and find a tenant. (When I head up tonight after work I will be welcomed by freshly painted walls – this is a huge mile stone!)
Between my father’s health, commuting from Vancouver to Mission every weekend for renovations, along with the colder weather production is down, the volume of posts are down, the content of those posts are less revealing but I am optimistic this will soon change. The weather is warming, the evenings are getting brighter, renovations are almost done and it feels like time to get back to the studio. Wherever and however that studio manifests.